I think I may have mentioned this before but one resounding phrase from my childhood (of my own invention) was “killing things with questions.”
Most people are insatiable, they want stuff out of you, they want everything out of you in fact. There are no bounds to their vulture-like nature.
This is why it is critical…..
- YOU say No.
- YOU draw Borders.
- YOU put yourself First.
Yes, it will piss them off.
Yes, they may say some hurty things to you.
Yes, it will change the dynamics of your relationship with them.
It may even END things with them.
You have to be prepared for all of it to happen.
The last conversation I had with my boyfriend was a very painful one but absolutely necessary. It’s not easy confronting someone who’s been so nasty to you and, believe you me, I let it rip. I’m glad I did it. I landed the blows I needed to.
All this said, it is critical you keep some stuff to yourself. Not everyone has to know everything about you. Don’t expect people to understand this behaviour or for them to know exactly who you are. That’s your business. That’s putting yourself first.
Every man has the right to his own space, The Englishman’s home is his castle.