Heaven or Hell? An Examination of 6 Psychological States You Must Manage For Your Success!

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Guess what! You’ve got emotions. You really needed me to tell you that, didn’t you!

Label, label, label, label. People love a good label!

BUT!

There’s not much good in knowing your labels if you don’t what to do with ‘em! It’s like having a really fabulous wine in the cellar and letting it go to vinegar! Tragic! Don’t do that.

I now understand the vital importance of having a point! Having a purpose, having a direction, there’s got to be an aim. Do you know the original meaning of the word ‘Sin’ is not actually to transgress or wrong, but to ‘miss the target?’ 

We are all moving towards something but people are either too afraid, or too nervous or get over-excited and become too unfocused. 

Disaster. Don’t do that either!

Two things you need to know: What to move away from and what to move toward. Very simple – hardly anyone does it.

My beautiful and supremely generous boyfriend sent me a fabulous article about six emotions, the physiological effects they have on our bodies but very little to do with how to harness them for your business.

That’s where I come in.

We’re going to look at some of the same headings in said aforementioned article but I’ve altered a couple of them to show you how to better direct yourself to your targets. Let’s get some bullseyes for you, make you stronger, steadier and more satisfied. In each section, I’ll also proffer a smidgeon of advice for you to take away and implement for yourself.

Enjoy! And thank you my delicious Man for inspiring this post!

Joy (inspirational article listed as Happiness)

Happiness is a tool – a means of seeing yourself through challenging times. Joy is the state to aim for. A happy person is resourceful. When you are joyful, you are open, you are grateful and you can see through your challenges to a more worthwhile place AND you connect better with the people around you. You can listen.

The Key To Joy: Start practicing gratitude. No matter how you do it whether you write it down, speak it out loud, record YouTube videos, write blog posts, start practicing gratitude every day.

Sadness

Now, sadness is not depression but they are related when you think of them both as directionless. You will probably have seen that many people pour over sadnesses, forever living in the past, not letting anything go, relentless, feeling useless.

What sadness comes down to is power – feeling that your experiences and past have more power over you than you over them. You are of absolutely no use, least of all to yourself, if you’re constantly beating yourself up.

Freedom from Sadness: Start acknowledging the things you’ve done well, what are your achievements? What are you holding onto that’s making you feel shit? Let it go. Make amends, if there is someone you need to apologise to, let them know and move on. 

Fear

While sadness is about the past, fear is about the future. There is just stuff you can’t control. A certain amount of risk is necessary for life, because you can’t be a perfectionist all the time and be happy.

Mark Twain once said “I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, most of which never happened.” You’re wasting your time trying to control the outside world.

Embrace the Mess: Children don’t care about messiness. They embrace it. No matter how old you are, you are still intrinsically that child that is at the mercy of the world, to some degree, but you can open yourself up to that and realise you live in the best possible time to be alive.

Anger

I have blown my top so many times, been violent towards myself, not listened, not been patience nor understanding! Like with fear, we try and control other people. In your mind you want them to be a certain way and when they don’t behave in the way you expected, you are annoyed and you lash out. Don’t do it. When children embrace the messiness of life they are childlike, when they have a tantrum they are childish – big difference.

If you observe most chronological ‘adult’ behaviour, it is very childish and spoilt. They won’t let things go, they are controlling and when they don’t get their way, they delay their progress.

The Key To Releasing Anger: to is understand you can’t control other people. Accept the way they have behaved, be calm and, if you can ask them questions, do it. If you can’t talk about things calmly with people, move away and move on from them. Believe me, you never know what you can learn!

Disgust

You have to look at yourself first. Whose mask do you put on first on the aeroplane? Most people will tell you endlessly about what external things disgust them but the truth is, most people are disgusted at themselves – of what they think, what they desire, what they would do with more power.

Without examining your own behaviour you will only be projecting anger at people which is never going to get you what you want. As hard as it seems most of the time, you have to direct sympathy and understanding to people. There is always stuff you can learn from others. Disgust creates division rather than harmony.

The path away from Disgust: accept that you might be wrong. Accept that you don’t know everything! Question, never assume.

Uncertainty (Originally Surprise!)

In the article I read, the experts listed Surprise as the trait, which is fun. What makes Uncertainty more interesting is the degree of flexibility you get. We talked about risk earlier – well guess what the flip side of risk is – ADVENTURE my friend.

We all love a bit of adventure, right!

The last couple of years have been extreme for all of us, haven’t they but I am going to be completely honest and say they have been the very best two years of my life. Why? Because that’s what I decided. I took on the last two years as an explorer, an adventurer, to find answers to my challenges that are meaningful and make me stronger.

I met my wonderful boyfriend, I reestablished my relationship with my family, I focused in on building my business, I got fitter and healthier, all the good stuff! 

I could only do that because I accepted what? I accepted that there is stuff I simply don’t know. Rather than being a ‘know-it-all’ (and who likes them anyway!), I decided to listen. Out in the wild, our senses get heightened and you start to notice things you had ignored, you start developing new skills you had shunned, you become, as mentioned in other parts of this article, more resourceful. Less will bother you. 

It’s all just stuff! You know? Things to be experienced, gone into wholeheartedly but not taken too seriously!

The key to Uncertainty: It’s going to sound trite but just go for it! Be open to asking for help along the way. That’s been the bravest thing I’ve opened myself to is being truly supported and understanding you deserve it!

Which of the emotions struck a chord with you most? Where are you struggling? Let me know in the comments!


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4 thoughts on “Heaven or Hell? An Examination of 6 Psychological States You Must Manage For Your Success!”

  1. Hi Martin,

    Your evaluation of the six psychological states everyone must manage if we want to become a success are essential. I love the idea of happiness, being in a joyful state of mind. I have personally noticed that when I’m happy, I accomplish more. But whenever I’m sad or provoked to anger, I hardly do anything right, and my work suffers. So, your post is timely and valuable. The advice that follows each psychological state as outlined above is practical.
    Thanks for sharing!😊

    1. Hey there Moss! Thank you so much for your thoughtfulness!

      To be successful, we must be awake and that means acknowledging where we’re winning and faltering. It’s so crucial to do it without judgement because feeling the emotions can be tough enough without layering on more harshness.

      Thank you again.

  2. Hi Martin,
    I used to find myself in the state of discussed, but learned how to get over it. It was holding me back from so many things, I felt like a horse cramped up in a stable. If that makes sense.
    But over time, I have battled many things and came to a place of joy. If there is an angry person in my path, I politely leave. That energy effects my whole being and gives me a stomach ache.
    I’ve practiced gratitude for years and that lead me to a state of peace and joy. Knowing who to hang out with and who I cannot. It may sound cruel, but I have no time for the “poor me” or the angry crowd. I keep my distance so that energy won’t bring me down.
    -Donna

    1. Hi Donna,

      Gratitude is a game-changer. There is so much beauty in the world and gratitude opens the heart to it all.
      It is incumbent upon us to make the decision to be joyful. It’s all our choice.

      You are a very sweet and generous lady, thank you Donna.

      Martin

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